Chapter 243: Completionist Elements Are More Fun the Crazier They Get

In the Unique Scenario "Tour of Rabituza," players take on a request from the Vorpal Bunnies to defeat a monster called the "Rabbit-Eating Snake." Why would a monster with a name as ominous as "Rabbit-Eating" appear in a country that should only be visited by players who arrive via unique scenarios—aside from the Vorpal Bunnies themselves? The answer lies with the seventh Unique Monster.

Sunraku: "Should I be speaking formally?"

Aydward: "Don't worry about it. If my little sister Bii is anything to go by, you're fine."

Ahh… well, whatever. I settle into a guest chair in the office and keep talking with Aydward, this country's de facto king.

Aydward: "Goldhuneenay physically dug a tunnel from her own lair all the way to Rabituza and is sending her 'replicas' and spawn through it."

Sunraku: "I heard about that—and that because they just keep spawning, literally inexhaustibly, we can advance the front line, but we can never truly push them back."

Aydward: "Yes… There was once a large-scale battle, and we barely managed to push them back to the tunnel's halfway point… but I don't need to tell you what came after that."

Goldhuneenay the Inexhaustible. A serpent Unique Monster whose very name reeks of bad news. The players who visit on the tour only ever fight her spawn—and even then, just the stragglers that slip past the defense line the Vorpal Bunnies hold with their lives… The real threat is the "replicas" that command giant serpents big enough to swallow an elephant whole, even if you ignore the fact that they're spawn.

Aydward: "You've heard from Father, haven't you? That the comrades holding the defense line are troops fighting with no expectation of making it back alive."

Sunraku: "The 'poison' that Goldhuneenay's replicas scatter… That's what I'm here for."

Naturally, I'm not about to fight Goldhuneenay's main body. Still, according to Vash, "due to Goldhuneenay's nature," it's possible to receive the "poison"—the curse—even from a replica. It's not biological—it's a conceptual curse that strips away any chance of return from the Vorpal Bunnies risking their lives on defense. A curse inflicted by a Unique Monster cannot be lifted until that Unique Monster is defeated. And unless the replicas are destroyed, Goldhuneenay's curse will keep eating away at the Vorpal Bunnies, and they'll rot away in that dim tunnel—whether it's in front of the defense line or behind it. What's even worse is that the poison controlled by the replicas is contagious. If the Vorpal Bunnies on defense were to return to Rabituza, it would trigger an unprecedented catastrophe.

Aydward: "I see… Indeed, you may be able to resist that accursed poison—you who bear the wound left by the emperor of the night… Lycagon."

Sunraku: "Or rather… I'm actually looking to go get poisoned on purpose… Ah, yeah—let me put it bluntly: I plan to go pick a fight with that 'replica' thing."

Whether the AI rigged it that way or it was designed into the scenario from the start, I don't know. But the key this time is the "crystallization effect" of the newly empowered Togetsu — Moonblades: Waxing & Waning. Not the currently junk-tier Netherlight—Goldsheen, the one that is still our promising hope.

Aydward: "…Hmm. Securing the tunnel is a critical matter for Rabituza. Now, where did I put that map… Ah, here it is."

A rolled-up piece of parchment unfurls in Aydward's hands, revealing the information written inside. I'd assumed the tunnel was just a straight shot, but it turns out things are a lot more complicated. There's a single fat, straight tunnel connecting Rabituza to the opposite side, and from the Rabituza-side walls, countless thinner tunnels branch out like roots. The map doesn't show where on the other side they lead, but it gives me a rough sense of the push-and-pull between the serpents and the rabbits.

Aydward: "This is the central tunnel that Goldhuneenay's main body originally excavated. We've secured about thirty percent of it… From here on, there are likely side tunnels we haven't checked or been able to seal, and beyond those lies the front line."

Sunraku: "Any chance they could dig a new side tunnel and ambush us?"

Aydward: "If they used an existing side tunnel, perhaps. But if they were to dig a new one, we'd notice the sound. Though I can't say whether human hearing could pull that off… yes."

No way in hell—rabbit ears and human ears are completely different spec. At the very least, if players take part in this, it looks like we'll have to watch out for no-telegraph ambushes.

Aydward: "Goldhuneenay's replicas… her shed skins… are here, in this part of the tunnel. If you truly intend to challenge a replica…"

Since the map is so simple and what I need to do is just as straightforward, Aydward casually lays out the absurdly unreasonable quota I'll have to meet.

Aydward: "Even starting from here, where you can depart safely, you'll need to run from roughly here to here… slipping past Goldhuneenay's spawn the whole way. Can you actually do that?"

So I answer just as casually.

Sunraku: "Even if I can't, I'll still do it. I'll keep doing it until I can. And one day, I will… That's what we pioneers—gamers—are all about."

Clear a monster-packed dungeon with zero encounters? That's the classic move for players who slacked on leveling, the natural thing to do on a challenge run, and an absolute must for RTA. Move optimally, blaze through the shortest route at top speed… and ignore a little time loss. Avoiding trash mob encounters when it's not just grinding? I'm used to it. Even if it's a reptile-only monster house.

Aydward: "I see… So this, too, is just as Dad planned. Spending out of his own pocket—how extravagant."

Sunraku: "Huh?"

Planned?

Aydward: "Just talking to myself. Exactly one week from tonight, Rabituza will carry out a large-scale defensive operation."

Sunraku: "Oh?"

Talk about good timing.

Aydward: "The objectives are to push the front line forward and seal the side tunnels from Sector Three to Sector Four that still haven't been dealt with… If you claim you can defeat Goldhuneenay's replica, then we shall assist you as well."

Sunraku: "Perfect. At the very least, I promise you a tactical victory."

Aydward: "Depending on your performance, I'll consider that other matter."

Obviously, guaranteeing a strategic victory all by myself as a single player is…

That other matter?

Come to think of it, a new Togetsu — Moonblades: Waxing & Waning, the Akitsu Akane Challenge, joining the defensive battle in one week… My SLF schedule has suddenly gotten packed. Luckily, I've got no plans next weekend either, so I can guzzle energy drinks without a second thought. But right now, the more pressing issue is tomorrow… no, scratch that—it's already today. This afternoon marks the start of the fun, fun talk session between "Wolfgang" and "Schwarz Vulf."

To sum it up: Schwarz Vulf threatens, "Quit getting mouthy and spit out the info already," and our demon lord shoots back, "Shut your trap, dumbass. You bastards can just shut up and keep paying tribute." It's the dumbest meeting ever. On top of that, our demon lord has roped in two scumbags plus one new scumbag as her errand boys and is setting up a massive fireworks show.

Day in and day out, I live the gamer life of a poor sheep sandwiched between a scumbag model and a scumbag pro gamer. If I don't see a fireworks show this fun in person, where else would I see it?

Sunraku: "Maybe I can even record it…"

Well, we'll see how it goes. Though, what was supposed to be a quick nap turned into a total crash, so I'm barely going to make it on time.

Goldhuneenay has a terrible shedding habit, constantly pulls perverted moves, is murderously clingy, and is such an unbelievable pain in the ass that she's basically a yakuman of annoyance. She's so ridiculously annoying that the stuff she sheds starts moving on its own; given enough time, their insides fill back in, they start breeding, and before you know it an entire ecosystem forms—a Godzilla Earth-level pain in the ass.