I'm embedded in the ground.
I'm buried in a wall.
I'm stuck in the ceiling.
I crashed into the subway.
I crashed into a truck.
I got crushed by a building.
I fell into the water.
I'm inside solid rock.
I smashed through a gas station and it exploded.
At this point, I just exploded somehow.
Hell, I even exploded without doing anything.
For a while, I seriously wondered if maybe I had some hidden klutz attribute that I simply hadn't noticed myself.
But by now, I think it's fair to say I've completely adapted to GH:C's systems.
???: "Impossible... a complete defeat—a Perfect...?"
Sunraku: "Thanks... TQC has finally reached completion right here and now...! Prepare for punishment—Tinky☆"
???: "Guaaaaah!!"
The Twinkle☆Wand, which gets used primarily as a blunt weapon, delivers the fatal blow, sending some ridiculously ripped guy in a full-body suit flying spectacularly through the air.
Player name: "Dr. Gateau Chocolat."
Those three bitter losses you made me swallow...
I'll call us even with this no-damage straight win.
Sunraku: "Now that's a good finish..."
Yeah, okay.
Maybe the guy wanted to fight my Cursed Prison, but that character actually takes a fair bit of brainpower to use. Its specs look like pure muscle-brain nonsense, but to get the most out of it you have to keep track of the surrounding environment, so it's surprisingly tiring to play...
Besides, Twinkle Pixie's ultra-close-range combat style gives me useful reference material, so it's fine. Totally fine.
Sunraku: "Now then..."
I've been grinding ranked at full throttle since around noon, so one more should finally put me into the highest tier.
Games like this sometimes dump you into those borderline-supernatural losing-streak hells, but...
Heh.
As I am now, I wouldn't even lose to Sylvia Goldberg.
No, I'd lose.
Her specs are broken as hell.
But that's only when I'm not fully loaded up on energy drinks...
Sunraku: "Oh, matched."
Hmm?
My opponent's name...
"Katzo Crown"?
That's a damn jellyfish name.
And more importantly, this is...
Hoooooh?
I seeeeee?
Hmmmmmmmm?????
No, no.
It's not like that name is patented or anything. There is still some miracle-level possibility that it's just a completely unrelated person with a similar name.
And in random matchmaking, people sometimes greet each other as soon as they run into one another, so...
Oh, found him.
What was that character called again...?
It's not Amdrava, and it's not Silver Jumper.
What the hell is it...?
Eh, whatever.
First, disguise my voice...
Sunraku: "Katzo Crown-san, let's have a good match! (falsetto)"
Katzo Crown: "Huh? Oh—yeah, likewise."
Ohooooooooooooo?
We have confirmation, ladies and gentlemen.
Kukukukuku...
For some reason, using my usual "Sunraku" name in GH:C felt wrong, so I'd thrown together the name "Recur Steel" on the spot.
Never thought that would come in handy like this...!!
Looks like the field type is a stump-type map.
Chaos Tower sits at the center with the map spreading outward in a circle, and there aren't many long straightaways overall.
Apparently it was added in an update.
Sunraku: "Messing with him is already guaranteed, but... what the hell is that character? Never seen it before. (falsetto)"
The obvious possibility is DLC—downloadable content.
The date has already rolled over, which means this could be a character that was implemented today.
Judging by appearances, the character probably fights with those two pistols hanging from his waist.
And judging from the expression on the now-confirmed Katzo's face, close-range combat doesn't seem particularly desirable for him.
I can't completely rule out the possibility that he's just unfamiliar with the character, but if that were the only issue, there'd be no reason for him to keep actively creating distance.
Sunraku: "Primarily ranged, but a combo fighter who wins through sheer volume of attacks... something like that? (falsetto)"
Oikatzo: "Oh, you don't know the character? Yeah. I only just updated too, but this guy, 'Dust,' is a ranged attacker."
Sunraku: "Wow, thank you so much for being so helpful! (falsetto)"
You going easy on me?
Interesting.
I'll beat the shit out of you!!
Sunraku: "Twinkle Powder☆ (falsetto)"
Oikatzo: "Tch."
The Twinkle Pixie I'm using has garbage durability and the disadvantage of an effective range of less than about one meter.
In exchange, she has extremely powerful lockdown and absolutely monstrous combo sustain.
The startup being slightly slow annoys me, but her restraint move, "Twinkle Powder☆," will unconditionally put any enemy who touches it into a stunned state unless they're guarding.
That said, Twinkle Pixie is a character people have already studied pretty thoroughly.
Fish bastard or not, Katzo isn't going to get caught that easily.
Sunraku: "Allow me to show you... TQC! (falsetto)"
Oikatzo: "Huh? What's th—whoa!?"
I'd already expected him to back away from the mysterious powder being dispersed like mist.
(Metaphor.)
Taking maximum advantage of Twinkle Pixie's tiny body and her ability to float, I move around behind him through the shortest possible motion, then kick him in the back and knock him straight into the mysterious powder.
TQC.
Its full name is Fairy Martial Arts: Twinkle Quarter Combat.
A battle style continuously inherited by Twinkle Pixie users across the nation—no, across the entire world—and finally brought into full bloom here in Chaos City, dedicated to the pursuit of one question:
How do you stun your opponent and beat the hell out of them?
And my TQC is a derivative form incorporating the Iaifist style.
By incorporating the Iaifist secret principle of piercing the gaps in a person's awareness, I've effectively expanded its range all the way out to three meters...!!
Sunraku: "I'll Tinky☆ you until the outline of your body starts warping, you damn jellyfish."
Oikatzo: "Ah!! You bastard, don't tell me you're Sunra—"
Sunraku: "Tinky☆☆☆! (falsetto)"
Oikatzo: "NUWAAAAAAH!!?"
Wahahahahaha!
I'm gonna beat you into paste!!
...
......
Oikatzo: Hey, you Twinkle gnat.
Oikatzo: Hey! Get out here, you damn Twinkle gnat.
Sunraku: Tinky☆
Oikatzo: Teach me that TQC thing later.
Oikatzo: No, that's not the point.
Sunraku: Don't casually let your real objective take priority.
Oikatzo: Anyway! I sent the You Gotta pass and stuff to your email, so you should be able to get in with that on the day.
Sunraku: Checked it.
Sunraku: "Mr. No Face," seriously?
Oikatzo: How else was I supposed to register you?
Sunraku: If I show them that pass with my bare face, I'm just gonna look like a complete idiot.
Sunraku: What, you expect me to put the mask on from the station?
Oikatzo: Says the guy who walked into an izakaya while still wearing a cosplay helmet.
Sunraku: Damn you and your valid point...
Sunraku: Well, I've already accepted, so I'll figure something out.
Oikatzo: Guess masked wrestlers deal with this kind of hassle too. And it's not like they're gonna make some huge announcement like, "Mr. So-and-so has arrived!" You don't need to worry that much.
Sunraku: Well, yeah, I guess.
Sunraku: Actually, there's one thing I wanted to ask.
Oikatzo: Hm?
Sunraku: I know we're definitely gonna be playing GH:C anyway, but I've got something to ask about that.
......
...
Sunraku: "All right..."
Looks like I've got a little something to do now.
The update seems to have finished too...
For tonight, I'm feeling Riot Blood Quantum.
Time to get ravenous and greedy, I guess.
Sunraku: "All-night march."
X Day is almost here.
I'll make this mine...!!
And now begins the post-apocalyptic savior legend of a scar-chested fairy who inherits the three-thousand-year history of the Fairy Divine Fist...