[I've got a mountain of things I want to write and have to write—the Tome of Truth, the message boards, what happened to Broccoli, or rather Brottori-kun, and so on—but I can't be bothered anymore, so my Super Intelligence brain decided, "Let's just start Arc Seven first!"]
[Then once it's finished, I'll add it to "Interlude: Vivid World" or something like that...]
Rakuro: "............Fgah."
I had a nostalgic dream: the clash between the Gamma server and the Mu server... Which one won? Correct answer: "They both got crushed by a giant armadillo that came charging in from the side."
Rakuro: "Ugh, my head hurts..."
Pulling all-nighters is nothing unusual for me, but this kind of thing almost never happens... Even a one-hour nap didn't ease the symptoms. This is the kind where I seriously need to sleep for about seven hours straight, but unfortunately, yours truly is still in the bright green springtime of youth.
I want to skip school. I desperately want to skip school. But say I tried faking sick, and my parents found out why I wasn't feeling well... Worst case, the VR system disappears from my room and gets put on the market.
Well, that's only the worst-case scenario... but I absolutely do not want to roll RNG with a 10% chance of death. That's the exact same probability as a 90%-accuracy attack missing, you know? Personally, I swear success rates around 85% to 90% have some hidden modifier knocking about 30% off the real value. In other words, they're bullshit.
Rakuro: "Morning, Mom."
Rakuro's Mother: "Morning, Rakuro. Were you up all night? Breakfast is cooking in the toaster."
The toaster? Did we even have one of those...? Oh, maybe they bought one. But that's weird. Even if it's bread being toasted, it smells way too fishy...
DING! (Bread and an Atka mackerel shoot out at high speed.)
Rakuro's Mother: "Your father bought it. It's a fish-compatible toaster. This thing can even grill saury."
Rakuro: "???, ?????"
Hold on. Please don't make my brain cells work this hard first thing in the morning, especially today.
Bread with Atka mackerel? Atka-mackerel bread? Wait, you take a split-open fish and close it up with bread? Chopsticks? For bread? With chopsticks?
Rakuro: "Oghghghghgh..."
Rakuro's Mother: "We're out of rice. Anyway, Mom has all sorts of things to get ready for winter..."
My mother, who's currently obsessed with Caucasus beetle larvae, is the biggest electricity consumer in our house... Though I'm probably number two.
...
......
............
Rei: "...G'mornin'..."
Rakuro: "Saiga-san, looks like yesterday really caught up with you..."
Rei: "Today... I'll probably... doze off............"
Rakuro: "Saiga-san? Saiga-saaaan!?"
Incidentally, because the two of us showed up at school together while both sleep-deprived, we got caught again. We didn't do anything shady!
And on the way home, we found out that, just as expected, we'd both fallen asleep in class.
............
......
...
Okay, enter the phone number...
Kei: "—Hello?"
Rakuro: "Is it true Katzo-kun has a biologically impossible third hole?"
Kei: "Could you stop with the dirty jokes that gouge out my soul?"
The Uomi-as-bottom threads are such a den of depravity that even I, hardened by Deep Throater's idiocy, can't get out unscathed. After two in the morning, they get sixty percent slimier... with desire.
Kei: "Whatever. About that event—the date's officially been decided, right?"
Rakuro: "I did indeed receive a very courteous email from your pro gaming team."
Kei: "We even sent you a map. Very considerate of us."
I looked it up and it was a TV station, though. Just what exactly are you trying to make me do, huh? Sing and dance? No, I guess you want me to play games.
Rakuro: "So what are we actually doing in the end?"
Kei: "Huh? Oh... what was it? I haven't really been told much of the details either, but we're definitely playing games. There's no plan to expose the face behind the famous masked man or anything like that."
Rakuro: "...? I see."
I tilted my head at the idea that someone already confirmed to appear on the show wouldn't know what they'd be doing. But from what I'd heard before, apparently it was the show of that idol who did commentary during GGC, so I figured it was probably some kind of surprise.
Rakuro: "A surprise?"
Kei: "Mm? Oh, yeah, yeah. Not exactly a surprise—more like you won't know what game you're playing until the day itself."
Rakuro: "Got it. So where exactly am I supposed to go?"
Kei: "So, TV Yugatta's... Ah, sorry, sorry! No, that's not it. Whichever studio it is, just show the code we sent to your mobile device at the entrance and it'll bring up navigation for you."
Rakuro: "Huh..."
Well, I've got about a week. If I'm doing this anyway, maybe I should actually study up a little...?
Kei: "Oh, and another thing. You summoned that gigantic ship and then where the hell did you disappear to? Don't tell me you're already inside..."
Rakuro: "The number you have dialed is currently having a Unique experience......... Jealous?"
Kei: "Drop dead."
Rakuro: "I can't get out, so clearing the dungeon has basically become mandatory..."
◆
Sunraku: "Yo, Araba. So you caught up."
Araba: "Mm... Oh! You have awakened, my friend. The Lady Whale Maiden guaranteed our safety, so I too took the opportunity to sleep."
Right.
Araba: "Also, my name is no longer Araba."
Sunraku: "Huh?"
Araba: "It is an old Pescorian custom. Those who have seen the great divine beast that rules the vast sea place 'Lu-' before their names. Therefore..."
Sunraku: "Lu-Araba, huh... That's hard to say. Luaraba, Lwaraba, Laraba—can't I use one of those?"
Araba: "Do not twist an ancient custom after two seconds!!"
Still, isn't that basically an honorific, like "Lord So-and-so" or "Saint So-and-so"? If that's how it works, then I should be Lu-Sunraku too.
Sunraku: "Abbreviation, nickname, whatever. I'm just going to keep calling you Araba."
Araba: "Ngh..."
Sunraku: "More importantly, didn't Isana tell you? We have to clear the labyrinth she spent thousands of years steadily building, even if it's only the First Shell Layer, or we can't even go home. Right, Isana?"
Isana: "You called, and here I am in a flash—Isana-chan! As long as you're aboard Leviathan, I can establish communications in 0.5 seconds or less!!"
Araba: "Oh, Lady Whale Maiden!"
Nereis: "Mmmmm."
Nereis is making a seriously sulky face. Even if Isana is the AI of the divine beast worshiped by the Pescorians—meaning the one who controls the divine beast, which basically makes her a divine being—you still have to think about the affection level of the character standing right next to you. Actually, just explode already, you bastard.
Sunraku: "I'm not asking for spoilers, but I have a question. What happens if someone from Project One dies in here?"
Isana: "Wonderful. To think you already know that much... I shall answer: they die. The Respawn System was implemented only for Project Two. I can also disclose information on the enemies appearing from the First through Third Shell Layers. Would you like me to?"
Sunraku: "Yeah, do that."
Huh, it even shows the recommended level. That's considerate. Level 30 means... Hmm, isn't that pretty low difficulty for a dungeon you can challenge in the New Land?
Sunraku: "No, I should probably think of this as a tutorial..."
Araba: "Sunraku, to remain so completely yourself even during such an extraordinary experience is... how should I put it... impressive."
Yeah, well, I'm the guy who picked a fight with an insanely strong dragon half a day ago. Oh, right. I had two rewards from breaking its horns, didn't I? Something called the "Spirit-Horn Afterimage"... It's an accessory, so I might as well try equipping one.
Araba: "........."
Sunraku: ".........Uh, what do I look like right now?"
Isana: "I detect a nonphysical visual anomaly. Put simply... you've grown horns."
Seriously? I've got a salmon head right now, and there are horns growing out of it?
Sunraku: "And the actual effect is... Huh. It grants a special buff to equipment..."
Apparently, normally one accessory works on one weapon, but... Heh heh. Well, you see, I broke two horns! Which means I get to power up my dual-wielding!!
Sunraku: "All right, Araba. Let's clear this thing fast and go home."
Araba: "Mm, no, as I said, it is Lu-Araba now..."
Isana: "Huh? You can take your time and relax a little longer, you know?"
Sorry, Isana. I'm the kind of person who can't truly relax unless I'm at home, no matter how good the facilities are. Though by that logic, since I'm logged in from my own house, I guess you could say I'm permanently relaxed. Still, I've got Emul and Saina waiting outside too—
Saina: "Transfer complete: Contractor (Master). As expected, you're perfectly fine."
Sunraku: "DAAAAGH!?"
You scared the shit out of me! Where the hell did you come from!?
Saina: "Supplementary Explanation (Allow me to explain!): Conquista Dolls are capable of intercontinental unit transfer when a high-output communications booster facility is available. Furthermore, this unit (I) has registered the authentication code identifying it as the Contractor's property. Accordingly, transfer to Leviathan is possible while Legacy Mode is active. A true Intelligence exploit...!!"
Isana: "Affirmative. I have already confirmed the contract link between Elma-Type Unit 317 and Pioneer Sunraku. Behemoth is the main base of Conquista Dolls, but... yes! Since you came to this Leviathan before going to that straitlaced 'Ivory'! Leave it to me!! I, Isana, shall now bring the workshop online at limited capacity and begin creating content for Conquista Dolls!"
Unless I'm imagining things, I think this AI just said she's going to start making brand-new rewards right now...
No, come on. Surely not. There's no way the AI characters in SLF are basically all idiots...
Sunraku: "No, surely that's..."
Saina: "Contractor (Master), symptoms of Intelligence deficiency have been detected. Would rehabilitation be advisable?"
Maybe they really are all idiots.