Q: Why was the update late?
A: Because the plot broke, and then the author broke too. Will this finish before the end of the year...? (Staring into the distance.)
Chapter 447: O Dragon, O Dragon! Part Twenty-Four
◆
Sunraku: “Yo.”
Kyo the Ultimate: “Whoa, you’re half-naked...”
Sunraku: “Hello. I’m Sunraku, the man who reached the realm beyond the minimum possible VIT value thanks to Siegwurm.”
Saina: “And I am Super Intelligence Doll Unit, Unit Number Elma=317.”
Kyo the Ultimate: “What, you expect me to handle this like Pencilgon or Oikatzo would? Don’t ask the impossible.”
My very existence had just been treated as unreasonable. If we took this to court, didn’t I have a pretty good chance of winning?
Whatever. I had only come to check on Kyotimate, who had been forced to “stay behind” because of Pencilgon’s scheme.
Sunraku: “The more I look at this, the funnier the whole scene gets.”
Kyo the Ultimate: “Considering what’s going to happen next, I kind of agree. I do like the naming sense, though... Oh, want some? Salt-grilled fish supplied by the Pescorian.”
Sunraku: “Huh? They do that sort of thing?”
Kyo the Ultimate: “They smell a little like the sea, but their tight-fitting outfits are pretty popular. You know, that ridiculously confident guy with a name like Rib-Bone or something.”
Sunraku: “Oh, Araba?”
Kyo the Ultimate: “Right, him. He has a whole “dream-girl” clan now—a fan club.”
That might have been the funniest thing I’d heard all day.
A fan club...
W-well, I basically had a search-party fan club too, right? In the broadest possible sense, it wouldn’t be wrong to call that a fan club...
Sunraku: “Besides, doesn’t that guy already have someone who’s basically his girlfriend?”
Nereis, whose name sounded like “Gluttonous Wardrobe” or something.
Honestly, those two were practically living together. As someone who had cleared countless games ranging from ones with trash stories to ones whose stories were the only decent part, I could tell they were obviously going to get together.
Come to think of it, there were dwarves here too...
I wasn’t especially interested in those so-called spirit-possessed weapons, but a race proud of its smithing skills did interest me. Every NPC blacksmith had their own naming sense for the weapons they created.
Like Vash and Bilac.
Kyo the Ultimate: “I can still pick up information from here. Apparently Noirlind and Siegwurm fell out of the sky, and then some red werewolf-looking thing swung an iron plate around, exploded, spun through the air like a corkscrew, and died with its underwear completely exposed? Hahaha. Is this what they mean by information getting distorted on the battlefield?”
Sunraku: “Everything from the red werewolf-looking thing onward was me.”
Kyo the Ultimate: “That was the sober version of the report...?”
I watched Kyotimate clutch his head, then turned on my heel.
Sunraku: “All right, I’m heading back to the front. But are you really fine with this? You’re not joining the fight against Siegwurm?”
Kyo the Ultimate: “Hmm... Well, if we’re talking about doing things legally... this side is better, you know?”
Sunraku: “Is that so.”
You murder junkie...
Sunraku: “Well, if you’re not unhappy, I won’t tell you what to do. Just watch out for aerial ambushes.”
Kyotimate jerked his chin toward someone nearby.
Kyo the Ultimate: “Speaking of aerial ambushes, are fireworks still the safest option for dealing with that guy?”
I jerked my chin in the same direction.
Sunraku: “Unless you’re one of the absolute highest-ranked players, the best answer against that guy is to strike first. If you’re reacting afterward and trying to punish him, the established answers are fireworks or a cauldron lid.”
A cauldron lid was one of the few indestructible objects in Bakumatsu.
Using one required enough skill to intercept every incoming arrow, so it wasn’t for everyone. But the second- and third-ranked players had both beaten him that way, so I couldn’t exactly argue with the results.
Me?
I overhead-kicked a firework into him and blew him up.
The raid boss didn’t count. Deflecting arrows with bullets was just insane.
Kyo the Ultimate: “A cauldron lid...”
Sunraku: “There’s a reason it’s called Bakumatsu’s strongest shield. It doesn’t have a handle, though, so everything depends on the player’s grip strength. For a while, people were raising every strength-based stat used for grip and running around with smug looks while dual-wielding cauldron-lid shields...”
As long as you could block the attack head-on, they really were invincible shields.
Of course, that only applied to one-on-one fights.
Sunraku: “All right, I’m heading back.”
Emul wasn’t nearby, so having to burn one of my own disposable magical media—a Magic Scroll—was mildly inconvenient.
◆◆
Sunraku: “All riiight! Guess I’ll cheer Akitsu Akane on while we go beat the hell out of Siegwurm!”
Eristella: “Excuse me, Sunraku-sama.”
A voice called out to me.
It wasn’t shouted. It was merely spoken quietly, yet it seized my awareness and forced me to listen.
When I turned around, I found a girl looking at me with her eyebrows lowered slightly in concern.
Her unreal appearance was wrapped in an equally unreal atmosphere, as though someone like her could only be permitted to exist within fiction or a virtual world.
Sunraku: “Whoa, if it isn’t the Saint herself.”
Eristella: “Oh, good. The truth is...”
[Would you like to begin the quest “The Saint’s Bladesword: Sword of Saint”?]
[Yes / No]
Eristella: “—I have one request.”
A quest at this exact moment?
If I remembered correctly, the contents of Eristella’s quests changed each time. That meant this was probably different from the previous quest to rescue the king and his daughter...
But more importantly, someone beside me was having a serious problem.
Saina: “Illegal reaction detected: conducting detailed analysis... Interruption error. Provisional classification: Destruction-Class. A Class X [Zehn] armament... Negative. Target belongs to the next generation... Negative. Negative. Negative. Impossible—previous generation? No, but...”
Sunraku: “Old-Era-Style Appliance-Repair Fist: Hit It and Most Appliances Start Working!!”
Saina: “Hogyu. Impact detected upon the head: temporarily suspending thought processes—hah.”
Sunraku: “Don’t start glitching in front of Saint-chan-sama, you junkheap.”
She had looked about ready to start emitting smoke from her head.
Good grief...
She’d better explain that to me later.
Sunraku: “Yes, yes. Of course. If the Saint herself has a request...”
I selected YES in the quest-acceptance window.
Only a few seconds after the answer was accepted, Eristella began to speak.
Eristella: “The truth is, I ran away from home.”
Sunraku: “Excuse me...?”
Hold on. Please spare me from entering a hostile route with Josette.
Wasn’t this the kind of thing that could end with me being blamed for everything?
Eristella: “That was only a joke.”
Sunraku: “Is that so...”
Eristella: “But it is true that I came here without telling Josette or the others. It is a small... act of mischief.”
Sunraku: “Excuse me...?”
That was the second time.
Was this really okay? In the worst-case scenario, wouldn’t this turn not only Josette and the others against me, but every religion-related NPC as well?
Saina: “Master, I believe those concerns are most likely unnecessary.”
Sunraku: “What?”
Saina: “Based upon the information possessed by this unit—me—and the current situation... no being capable of harming her exists... with the exception of a single entity.”
Sunraku: “Seriously?”
So the theory that she was secretly overpowered had been right after all.
Wasn’t Eristella being effectively invincible under the present conditions kind of ridiculous?
Saina: “It should be impossible... However, since she currently exists, no other definition is possible.”
Sunraku: “You’d better explain your theory later, no matter how uncertain it is... Dodging the explanation is one of the least popular moves in the overpowered-character playbook, you know...? Whatever. So, may I ask why the great Saint herself has deliberately gone out without telling anyone?”
Eristella: “Let me see... Even a bird that willingly chooses its cage still looks beyond the window. Hehe. Then why not take the cage outside? Do you not think so?”
...?
Sunraku: “Wouldn’t it be easier to smash the cage and kick the bird out?”
Eristella: “Perhaps that would also be correct. But even I possess enough emotion to wish to answer the devotion of those who care for me.”
This was a problem.
She seemed to be saying something important, but I was only responding through pure reflex.
There was absolutely no intelligence involved on my side.
Sunraku: “Let’s confirm the order. The Saint wishes to leave without informing the Shining Knights of the Holy Shield. Where would you like to go?”
Eristella: “Hehe. It is a place you know very well... A place you and your companions proposed to Josette, but which she and the others gave up on...”
Oh?
Had we unknowingly met the quest conditions before the quest itself appeared?
Wait.
A place we knew well, which we had proposed to her guards, and which fit the present situation...
Eristella: “O avenging Swords-man with ties to the rabbit kingdom, would you please take me before Siegwurm?”
Sunraku: “...When the time comes to explain this to Josette and the others, please take my side.”
And now I’d picked up another bomb...
But fine. I didn’t mind.
Life was more entertaining when you threw in a little spice like this.
Besides, if my guess was correct...
This quest might become one of our trump cards.
Saina practically gave away the answer, so yes, that is exactly what it means.
At present, Eristella is the only NPC in SLF with the unique origin “Should Never Have Been Born.” If every conceivable worst possible route had been followed, she would have become the eighth Unique Monster. Isn’t that wonderful!!