Chapter 410: Producing the Cowardly Snake

When you’re in trouble? Walkthrough sites~!

Q. How can players make save points or furniture themselves?

A. Become a Carpenter.

Q. ...Is there any way other than becoming a Carpenter?

A. No, dumbass. Quit being lazy and start by hammering nails.

Sunraku: "Fuck..."

Where the hell was I supposed to become a Carpenter in this death zone...!?

But I still had options. Heh heh heh...

This game had Furniture Makers as a job. It was basically a production job purely for hobbyists, but there was such a thing as DIY, so it was not a bad hobby job.

For some reason, it required magical aptitude, though. That was suspicious as hell. There was definitely some hidden mechanic there. Do your best, Library.

But then it hit me.

What happened to furniture made by Furniture Makers? They were not going to throw it at monsters the second it was made.

Furniture only functioned when you put it in a house. Well, they were objects with no buffs or anything, but still. Making them required skills, so why the hell did they need magical aptitude...?

Right.

Furniture went in homes. In mansions. In shops...

And in bases.

Heh heh heh heh...

I already had the answer in my hands. I had planned to keep it tucked away until I could show everyone, so I had nearly forgotten it even existed.

But was this not exactly the time for it to do its job...?

Sunraku: "It might wobble... Hey, WIMP. Sammy-chan made this cave, right?"

WIMP: "That’s right! Sammy-chan is amazing! Sammy-chan melted the walls with poison and dug through them!"

The melancholy coming off Sammy-chan made it painfully clear how brutal that work must have been.

You made Sammy-chan dig while that battlefield next door was going absolutely nuts...?

What are you, a demon?

Sunraku: "Sorry, but could you make the ground here into a straight groove? Like... dig it down a little?"

WIMP: "...Fine, but I’m not doing it."

S-Sammy-chan...!!

My chest filled with guilt and gratitude. Holy shit, Sammy-chan’s affection meter was climbing like an eel—even though Sammy-chan is a snake.

Sammy-chan gave me a compassionate reptilian look, as if to say, “It’s fine.” Poison dripped from those fangs as Sammy-chan seriously began melting the ground little by little.

So it was more acidic than neurotoxic...

A few minutes later, Sammy-chan finished digging a trench through the cave floor and coiled up like a worker who had completed a hard day’s work.

Great job!!

Sunraku: "The depth is perfect too...!? Seriously, Sammy-chan-san, are you some kind of maestro...!?"

I had to live up to that expectation, even if it came from a monster I was not even sure counted as an NPC.

I was a man who aimed for high scores...!

Come on, Bryubas!!

Sunraku: "Allow me to introduce Brunhilde Baskerville... Uh, what was it? Oh, right. Brunhilde Baskerville III. Its official name is Bryubas."

WIMP: "What is this? It’s a weird-shaped box."

Sunraku: "Listen up, Sammy-chan’s tagalong. This is called a boat. A boooat. You understand?"

Saina: "Updating the data on the designation WIMP: Intelligence deficiency detected."

WIMP: "Are you making fun of me!? And what do you mean, ‘tagalong’!?"

Sunraku: "Listen up, accessory. The one contributing the most here is Sammy-chan, and you’re dead last. Show some respect. Put “-san” on it—call them Sammy-chan-san."

WIMP: "S-Sammy-chan is Sammy-chan!"

This little shit. I understood Sammy-chan-san better than she did!

Sammy-chan-san was, Sammy-chan-san was...!!

No, wait. Calm down. I was getting weirdly worked up.

The balance between useful and useless NPC traits was making Fuckaria cross my mind, and that was not helping.

Having a useless character drag down a competent one was just...

Ah, fuck it!!

Sunraku: "I’ve decided. I’ve made my choice..."

WIMP: "W-what...?"

Sunraku: "Training...!"

A brutal no-lifer leveling grind: not quite alive, not quite dead, sprinting flat-out along the very edge of death...!!

I know your level, asshole! What the hell is Level 62 supposed to be!?

Sunraku: "I’ll train you until you can at least throw hands with that Goldhuneenay...!!"

WIMP: "Nooo! I’ll die, I’ll dieee!!"

Sunraku: "Relax. I’ll heal you as long as you don’t die... Saina, can we lure Armlet Gargantulas in here and fight them?"

Saina: "It is possible under conditions. The entrance is currently wide enough for smaller individual Armlet Gargantulas to enter—"

WIMP: "You can’t be serious!?"

Saina: "Please remain quiet for a moment. If we try to improve the abilities of the individual designated WIMP here, an entrance that narrow could trigger suicidal behavior from the Armlet Gargantulas rushing inside."

Sunraku: "Too long. Summarize."

Saina: "The entrance is narrow, so in the worst case, we will be buried alive."

Sunraku: "Nice. Ten Intelligence points."

Saina: "Problem detected: This unit’s Intelligence is already at its maximum value. Would the counter not stop?"

Sunraku: "It’s a New Game Plus feature."

Saina: "A second playthrough...!!"

More like a second playthrough where the gears were spinning in place.

But saying that would probably drag things out, so I did not.

Sunraku: "Listen, WIMP. You keep saying you don’t want to die, but the best way to stay furthest from danger in this world is to get stronger."

WIMP: "U-uh... But I have Sammy-chan..."

Sunraku: "How long are you going to rely only on Sammy-chan-san? If you get stronger too, that makes things even safer."

WIMP: "U-uh..."

Sunraku: "And you don’t seem to understand what kind of opportunity this is, so I’ll tell you. Me and Saina are helping you train. That means you can get stronger safely and reliably..."

WIMP: "Safely... Reliably..."

Sunraku: "And I’m not telling you to challenge those giant monsters. This is an opportunity, WIMP... You get it, right?"

WIMP: "F-fine, then!!"

That was easy.

Using Bryubas as a temporary save point seemed like a brilliant idea at first, but thinking about it, there were a lot of problems.

The biggest one was that Bryubas was a boat. It was meant to float on the sea or a river.

And more than that, it was a base for Wolfgang...

In other words, I could not just leave it here forever.

Bottom line: I had only made a stopgap save point. I had not solved the underlying problem at all.

I still needed furniture, huh...?

Something like that was probably within reach of my wallet—no, Golden Scales—but how the hell was I supposed to get to Fifticia from here...?

Sunraku: "I’ve saved, so I can respawn and come right back... But the question is how I get there."

Did I really have to go back by human-powered express?

What a pain...

No, wait. Come to think of it...

Saina: "Master, regarding the expansion of this cave that I proposed earlier for the plan to strengthen the individual designated WIMP..."

Sunraku: "Yeah, I’m leaving the preparations to you. I’m going to sleep for a bit, then head out."

The next day.

Rakuro: "Morning, Saiga-san."

Rei: "G-good morning, Hizutome-kun."

Rakuro: "I wanted to ask you something. Are you free tonight?"

Rei: "Huh? Yes, I am..."

Rakuro: "I kind of wanted to see you, Saiga-san..."

Rei: "Pweh!?"

Rakuro: "...At the Bugman village."

Rei: "...........................Ah. Yes."

That was Saiga-san for you. A genuine no-lifer—she agreed without a second thought.