Chapter 369: Trying Too Hard to Look Cool

Building is fun! (Hallucination)

Sunraku: "Money, huh."

Elke: "Money, right."

Starting off with money-grubbing. Elke's in top form today, as always.

Elke: "The Pruning Secret Art is suuuper rare, you know. Sooo... I want lots of money, okay?"

Sunraku: "...Out of curiosity, what exactly does this 'Secret Art' do?"

Elke silently holds out her hand. Sunraku silently places 10,000 Mani in it.

Elke: "Hmm, about twenty percent, maybe?"

Sunraku: "...You really know how to take advantage."

After I hand over another 40,000 Mani, Elke grins.

Elke: "Thanks for the business."

Then she starts talking.

Elke: "For a Skill Gardener, there's a secret technique that demands the right skill not just from the gardener, but from the one receiving it too. It's..."

Sunraku: "It's...?"

......

...

Sunraku: "So... I need money."

A lot of it. I might need several billion Mani... But even then, it would be cheap.

Emul: "Sunraku-san, what are you going to do, wa?"

Sunraku: "Once I get my weapon fixed, I'm heading to Crystal Nest Cliff."

On top of my head, Emul's making a face that practically screams, "Ah, of course." I can see it without even looking. But testing out that skull is part of it, so what can I do?

Sunraku: "Still... the day I graduate from Crystal Nest Cliff might be coming soon."

It's no stretch to say the earnings at Crystal Nest Cliff are top-tier, but that doesn't mean nothing better exists. And I can walk the paths of the New Land now — I can explore for new farming spots I haven't seen yet.

Sunraku: "So... I'll be saying goodbye to those guys for a while."

Emul: "You're making it sound all nice, but it's basically the same as a predator changing hunting grounds, wa."

Sunraku: "In search of new flavor!!"

Alright, that aside — time to raid... I mean, go play!

So while the deviants and the pervert are causing a ruckus on the New Land, I'll be gracing the old continent with my presence... is what I'd like to say, but there's something I gotta do first.

Sunraku: "Okay... well, something like this... right. Emul, get us a warp."

Emul: "Hai na! Eildort, wa?"

Sunraku: "Nope. To the frontline base. And also..."

A great adventure that, in terms of hours, didn't even fill a single day. Who would believe, even in a fairy tale, that a king meant to sit upon his throne would race through a vast, untamed forest? But the fact remains: after escaping the Third Knight Order, Toravante and Aria ran through that pitch-dark forest. And they could only do it thanks to the great sage Deep Throater, master of magic; Tottori the Shimahne, hero of the elves; and the Avenger who vanished into the morning sun and sea spray...

Sunraku: "Excuse my intrusion."

Toravante: "Ooh! Sunraku! It's you!"

Aria: "Oh my!"

Amid the chaos of a sudden Pescorian visit — an incident that threw the pioneers into near-panic — within the Demon Lord's Castle... ahem, Skull Azuchi, built on the frontline base, Toravante and Aria find Sunraku kneeling before them. His gender has returned to male, but it is without a doubt the Avenger who saved both their lives.

Sunraku: "This form of mine stands out somewhat, so I apologize for presenting an unsightly appearance... I merely wished to offer a proper farewell."

His posture of fealty to the king is unwavering, and yet he holds himself tall. To him, Toravante gives words of genuine feeling.

Toravante: "Indeed... Sunraku, you have done a great service this time. Forgive me that I cannot grant you a fitting reward."

Sunraku: "Peace is only built upon a good king. And so... Al... ahem, I mean... as a citizen of Einvarus, rescuing one's king is only natural."

Toravante: "Is that so... Then I am proud to be blessed with such fine citizens."

Sunraku: "I am most honored."

Toravante: "However. As one who shares the bloodline of Einvarus, I could not face my forebears without granting a reward worthy of your deeds. They say 'a treasure of dreams cannot be priced,' but... when I once again ascend the throne, I will surely see you rewarded. Sunraku, what is it you wish for?"

Sunraku: "Ca—... ahem. I would like to say a good kingdom where an avenging blade need never be drawn... but I suspect that is not the answer Your Majesty seeks. In that case..."

Sunraku: "A sword."

The kneeling half-naked man says it simply.

Sunraku: "We, the avenging blade, can belong to no one. But if a king's majesty shines upon the blade we wield, that light would be a glory surpassing all else."

Without a trace of hesitation, as if reading from a script, Sunraku declares it. The king and princess look on with a mix of awe and respect.

Toravante: "Indeed... That wish, I have indeed heard it. I swear by the Three Gods that I shall not break this promise."

A faint silence hangs among the king, the princess, and the Avenger. Just as Aria opens her mouth to break it, Sunraku rises to his feet as if to cut her off.

Sunraku: "Your Highness. Whatever words might follow... that is a wish that can never be granted."

Aria: "Sir Sunraku..."

Sunraku's body stiffens for just an instant at the sight of Aria, who looks on the verge of tears. But then, as if severing the lingering attachment in his clenched fist, he lets the strength drain from his hand. He sweeps aside his pure-white mantle — the one that holds a lapis lazuli night sky within — and turns his back to Toravante and Aria.

Sunraku: "We are ones who answer only the smallest, frailest of wishes. I say this knowing the rudeness of it, but... we cannot lend our hand to a struggle for power."

Aria: "Then...! ...No. I understand."

Aria nearly said it — "Then quit being an Avenger and become a knight" — but the words catch in her throat. That would be far too selfish. Even if Saint Eristella made the request, Sunraku saved Toravante and Aria in that moment precisely because the two of them were a "frail wish." And so, to distort that would be to deny the very man who saved them. At the end of her inner struggle, Aria closes her eyes and locks her own wish away in her heart, unspoken.

Sunraku: "But please, do not forget... I am, without question, here in Einvarus. For the love and peace of all people — not just those of this kingdom, but of these new lands as well — there is indeed a blade that will be swung."

Aria: "...Yes!"

Sunraku: "Then... may a brighter future come to Einvarus."

With those final words, the bird-masked Avenger leaves the room. The two who remain do not chase after him — they simply renew their resolve.

Toravante: "Aria. I may have to take my own son's life. Even so..."

Aria: "No, no, Father. Aria will go with you... We cannot let my brother have his way."

Toravante: "I see..."

Perhaps it is the wordless understanding between father and daughter; no further words are needed. Only gazes filled with firm resolve are exchanged in the quiet room...

Techi: "Hey, Sunraku, you're actually really good at this role-play stuff. You could probably fit in with us too, you know?"

Sunraku: "Geh. You were listening, Techi-kō?"

Techi: "Could you not say it like you're calling me a dog?"

Sunraku: "Ah, yeah, yeah. My bad, Techi-ham."

Techi: "I didn't tell you to read it vertically either!"

◆

Sunraku: "Ahh, I'm beat..."

I actually meant to head to Crystal Nest Cliff after that role-play session, but no way. If I don't sleep soon, it's gonna be bad.

Sunraku: "Getting to sleep until noon is allowed. Weekends are the best... Hm?"

Mail? Who from...? Those assholes usually message me on social media these days, so I can't imagine them going back to mail. That time Pencilgon almost posted her usual scumbag crap on Towa Amane's official account was pretty damn funny, but... who is it?

Sunraku: "The sender... wait, seriously? Takeda-san!?"

The contents... oi oi oi oi. For real? For real for real!

Sunraku: "Oh, this is bad... It'll probably get here next week — no, fastest would be the day after tomorrow..."

This is no time to be playing SLF!!

Subject: Sharing the Goods Sender: Takeda Ingen Recipient: Sunraku Body: Sunraku-shi! Sunraku-shi! While away on business in Zimbabwe, I somehow got my hands on two Japanese-package copies of Fuuun Prejiden! The contents were legit too, so I'm sending one your way! Let us enjoy this legendary shitty game to its fullest!

The festival begins.

Note: It seems all of Sunraku's lines come with a citation: (Source: Otoginia Union)

Otoginia Union The characters of fairy tales live in the land of Otoginia, and the hands of fairy-tale villains are closing in to invade. Now is the time to show the true power of fairy tales——!

As source material, it should have been pretty good, but...

"Cinderella, who appears from an aerial pumpkin battleship and, when using her ultimate move, puts on her glass leg boosters... ahem, glass slippers to fly through the sky, making her civilization level completely different from everyone else's."
"Snow White of the Strong Shoulders, who keeps enemies at bay with seven dwarves — ahem, small bits and reflector shields — while knocking them out with a high-speed apple (poison attribute)."
"The Emperor's New Clothes, an eight-heads-tall naked king whose face and mannerisms are like a cool playboy but whose outfit is lethally perverted, leaving everything from the neck down pixelated." And so on — characters with way too much personality.

It seems each character's individual setting was designed by a different person, and trying to cram them all together resulted in each one's portrayal being thin, leading to a scattered scenario.

And above all, because the scenario progresses semi-automatically — aside from the multiplayer elements mentioned later — there's a character like Thumbelina who can only be used for five minutes at most in the main story if you stretch it to the limit. Things like that made the overall disappointment stand out so much it got branded a shitty game.

It's the type where "the ingredients are good and the cooking method isn't that wrong, but throwing everything in the same pot made each flavor turn out weak."

The biggest shitty element, however, was the multiplayer. They implemented each character's "main scenario" performance as-is, so the balance was broken from the start. Sunraku himself called it worse than Goril Lion.

Specifically, once you beat the secret boss, you unlock characters like:

"Kaguyahime, a strategic weapon who switches between five super-powerful combat styles and can resurrect with full HP if killed within 30 seconds."
"Doping Momotarō, who has no upper limit on his buffs — if you keep eating kibidango, he and his animal companions just get endlessly stronger."
"Elder-Abusing Urashima Tarō, who blasts enemies with the smoke of the Dragon Palace box to turn them old, then beats them to death with a fishing rod." Aside from those, everything else is said to be total garbage, balance-wise. The sight of foreign fairy tales getting told by Japanese folktales, "Good little children, sleep forever," is spectacular in all the wrong ways.

Sunraku's personal favorite is the "Goddess of the Lake, who stands bolt upright on a wheeled kiddie pool, tearing across the battlefield while endlessly pulling golden and silver axes from under her feet to throw."

By the way, the discovery that "if you toss kibidango into the Goddess's kiddie-pool lake, you get golden kibidango (ten times the buff multiplier)" led to an incident where a tag-team with Momotarō further polluted the already scorched-earth multiplayer scene. After that, it seems even they got nerfed... Now it's silver kibidango (five times the buff multiplier). No, that's not the point.

The basic character designs and other core concepts were actually pretty good, so when the setting and cast were streamlined for an anime adaptation, it became a solid hit. Fan works are still thriving now. The motto reads, "Don't buy the game. Buy the setting guidebook and watch the anime."