Chapter 344: Dragons, O Dragons! Part Nine
Coming up with Deep Throater's dialogue gives me the same kind of thrill as crossing a steel beam, and that's a problem.
The red monster they encounter, and the scarred emperor. Though they belong to different categories, these two monsters, both tied to "dragons," bare their fangs and face each other.
On one side is the raid monster, the Great Red Devourer. Facing it is the three-headed tyrannosaurus... I think its name was Dracule Dinosauberus. It has actually driven off large groups of players again and again.
With the elf village turning into an MvM battlefield, the fragile humans hold an emergency strategy meeting with the newly returned Tottori, making three of us in all. The location is the usual ruined house. It's starting to feel like our regular spot, like the family restaurant where everyone meets up after school...
Deep Throater: "Premature—"
Sunraku: "Areadbhair."
Deep Throater: "Whoa, hold up, Sunraku-kun. My HP is seriously low right now, so give me a break."
Seriously? This is the perfect chance to wipe you out. But I guess we have bigger problems right now.
Sunraku: "So Tottori came back dragging something ridiculous with him... Anyway, if he's joining the battle, first we bring him up to speed on what we know."
Then we can have our strategy meeting. There is way too much we still need to test about Phase Three.
Deep Throater: "...Well, the crystals are the obvious suspicious part."
Sunraku: "Yeah. It all comes back to them."
These mystery crystals appeared all over the elf village at the same time Phase Three began. They're far too sinister to call jewels, and one is sitting right beside us while we work out a plan. If they can grow indoors too, searching for them is going to be a pain.
Deep Throater: "These are definitely growing out of the ground, right?"
Sunraku: "There's something inside one..."
Tottori: "If they don't come out on their own, that probably means players are supposed to break the crystals."
Sunraku, Deep Throater, Tottori: "......"
Multiple objects that practically scream, Break me.
A strange living silhouette that practically screams, Something's in here.
And enough battle-flag stink to practically scream, Break this and something will happen.
Is that half-assed coloring bastard seriously telling us to step on a landmine we can already see?
Deep Throater: "If we want to know whether the elves can handle these, I guess we'll have to taste-test one ourselves first..."
Tottori: "From the silhouette... a bird?"
Sunraku: "No, the shape looks weird for a bird..."
And then—
Sunraku: "Looks like our three-headed buddy has started fighting too."
Deep Throater: "Not that it matters, but if that thing's female, simple math says she can handle about seven people at once."
Tottori: "Seven...? Didn't it drive off way more than seven? Like fifteen without much trouble?"
Sunraku: "Seriously, stop turning everything into a dirty joke even now..."
Tottori: "Wait, that was a dirty joke?"
Sunraku: "Huh?"
Deep Throater: "Huh?"
Deep Throater's mouth curls into a grin. Th-this bastard...!
Sunraku: "M-Meme contamination...!?"
Deep Throater: "Sunraku-kuun... you perv..."
Sunraku: "Gh... Please, burn me clean, Areadbhair!!"
Deep Throater: "Ababababa!!"
Damn it. So when you stare into the abyss, the abyss really does stare back...? No way. Shit. Maybe I actually should kill her and go stand under a waterfall or something...!!
Sunraku: "Die!"
Deep Throater: "Barrier~"
Deep Throater slips around behind the thing and uses it as a shield. Idiot. That crystal still isn't hard enough to stand up to Areadbhair's heat... ah.
Sunraku: "......"
Deep Throater: "......"
Tottori: "......"
It doesn't get cut clean through, but the blood-red crystal is melted open to about halfway through its thickness. Then it quietly starts to tremble.
Without saying a word, we (+ Emul) start leaving the ruined house with the same casual ease as taking the receipt to the register after sitting around talking at a family restaurant...
Hesh: "Tottori! How dare you make me act as bait for something that dangerous—"
Unidentified Monster: "Qigryyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!"
Hesh: "Kyaaaaaaaaaaaah!!?"
Emergency escape!!
The blood crystal bursts. Hesh, who had thrown open the door in full tsundere mode, instantly turns around and bolts at top speed, and we follow her out of the ruined house.
The next instant, the already half-collapsed roof blows outward from inside. The red mass responsible spreads huge wings and launches into the sky.
Six-Winged Bat: "QyaLaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!"
It is a monster with wing membranes unlike those of a bird or insect. If its whole body were black instead of red, the look would fit perfectly.
Then again, if it's connected to "blood," maybe red is exactly the right color.
Deep Throater: "Look, Sunraku-kuun. Six wings. A Seraphic Bat, huh?"
Sunraku: "No flying monsters, no flying monsters, no flying monsters..."
Deep Throater: "Ah, little melee guy..."
Oi. I felt a strangely rude undertone in that.
Still, we have learned a few things. Break one of those crystals—this blood amber, basically the monster version of a Lowenava Amber Crystal—and the monster trapped inside comes out.
If that were all, it might just be a fixed encounter marker, but... dirty jokes aside, it looks like my brain is running pretty well right now.
Deep Throater: "So what're you gonna do, Sunraku-kuun...? Looks like if you carelessly rummage around in this thing's pockets, one hell of a monster comes out... yes, the monster lurking in its crotch pocket—"
Sunraku: "Areadbhair slap!"
Deep Throater: "Nnhii—pleasure!"
Sunraku: "And back!"
Deep Throater: "N-nooo—ecstasy!"
Divine punishment! (*Correct usage.)
Leaving Deep Throater twitching on the ground with less than ten percent HP, I give Tottori the conclusion I reached from what makes sense in this world's rules.
Sunraku: "Listen, Tottori. Before you got here, that thing was rampaging around on an empty stomach. Then it suddenly jumped back to full power. I don't buy that this game would explain all of that with nothing more than 'it entered berserk mode.'"
Tottori: "R-right..."
Sunraku: "And judging from that six-winged bat's half-assed coloring, it's clearly the same kind of thing as the Great Red Devourer. We should assume it still has the same basic traits as Phases One and Two."
Tottori: "R-right...?"
...Hah.
Sunraku: "Break every crystal and wipe out everything inside. That's it."
Tottori: "You could've just said that from the start."
Not enough intelligence there, Hero. But don't worry. Games from every age and every country have proven that most problems can be solved if you just pack enough muscle inside a human skull.
Sunraku: "Come on, get up, pervert. We've got a mountain of work to do."
First, kill that six-winged bat.
Next, find every crystal in this whole area.
Then kill whatever comes out of all of those too.
And in a way, this next part matters even more than breaking the blood crystals...
Sunraku: "We need to babysit the three-headed tyrannosaurus."
Deep Throater: "If it gets itself killed and eaten, we're seriously screwed..."
With the Great Red Devourer, we have to consider the risk of having a fine blade stolen from us. Sure, that scarred emperor is strong, but its opponent is still a raid monster.
What if the three-headed tyrannosaurus loses? Worse, what if it gets eaten and comes back as one of the Great Red Devourer's chimera copies?
Sunraku: "That would be bullshit on a completely different level. We need to babysit it as carefully as if we were carrying a leeching player up into a higher tier."
Deep Throater: "We don't have enough people... Even if we use the elves to search for the blood crystals, if we also have to kill everything inside them..."
The chimera copies vary a lot in strength from one body to another. The ones using tyrannosaurus parts were tough, while the raptor-based ones went down easily. The ones with pterosaur wings can die and stay dead forever, damn it.
Sunraku: "...Emul."
Emul: "[Magic Edge]!!"
Can you read my mind or something? Still, that's the most efficient move. Nice.
The flying blade of magic slams straight into the face of the six-winged bat, which had been hanging in the air without a care in the world.
All right, battle sta—rt...?
The six-winged bat suddenly goes limp and falls from the sky. We all go quiet for a moment.
Wait, did that one-shot it...? No, it's alive. Yeah! Obviously! Of course it is!
Sunraku: "All right, time to die!"
And yet, all I do for the follow-up is punch the six-winged bat in the face with Gilta Brille, and it's already on the verge of death. A suspicion starts spreading among us: Wait. Is this thing actually weak...?
Then my fist, boosted by Agatram, smashes the six-winged bat apart, and that suspicion becomes almost certain.
Hesh: "What? If that's all they've got, even I can beat one!"
Sunraku: "No, wait. It's too early to decide that after seeing just one..."
Hesh: "Oh, just watch me. The great Hesh will take one down in style!"
Ah, hey. Don't plant a death flag with foundations that solid...
Thirty seconds later.
Unidentified Monster: "Bmooooooooooooooo!!!!"
Hesh: "Nooooooooo, Tottoriiiiii, save meeeee!!"
Deep Throater: "Amazing! You don't get to see someone fall that fast in under a minute in real life!"
Sunraku: "Elves, huh..."
Tottori: "Uh... sorry."
Watching Hesh get chased around by a monster that looks like a cow, a lion, and a gorilla all mashed together—in other words, basically an ogre—we once again confirm two things: the monsters that emerge are random, and the elves are hopeless cowards.
Sh-shitty weakling, cocky tsundere lunch pack...