Chapter 338: Dragons, O Dragons! Part Four

The writing is really starting to flow now.

To put it bluntly, I've gotta say the situation is extremely bad. The misshapen, hideous, horror-focused chimeras spawning one after another from the red pool spreading underfoot are just small fry, but they're surprisingly tough. The devs probably balanced them around two or three players dealing with them.

Sunraku: "Tch… should I use it? No…"

No good. In a situation where we've barely even chipped away at the Great Red Devourer's main body, pushing it into a corner is way too risky. If we had reviving options like we did against Wethermon the Tombguard, it'd be a different story, but…

Deep Throater: "Sunraku-kuuun! Get on all fours and squeal like a pig for me!"

Sunraku: "Watch your goddamn phrasing!"

Deep Throater: "Here we go, [Murderous Intent]—boom!"

The magic of Deep Throater—who gets on every last nerve but does her job properly as backline firepower—activates. I dodged the multiple beams of light closing in from behind with a backflip boosted by Possessed by the Great Asura King. Actually, hold on—if I'd ducked, would that shot have hit me right in the ass?!

Deep Throater: "So sorry, forgive me, Sunraku-kuuun, it was an accident, y'see… it's auto-homing, so…"

I can't spare the focus to turn around and check, but I'm sure she's grinning ear to ear. Is this seriously not grounds for divine punishment…? Still, as a mage—and one who's made it this far, meaning she's probably unlocked her level cap—her attack magic seems to pack enough punch to lock down the movements of the trash chimeras. I sprinted between the weakened clones, now sluggish from low HP, slicing through them with Areadbhair Rebuild.

Sunraku: "…It moved. Here it comes!"

Underground, underwater, midair… When a monster escapes somewhere the player can't reach, what else could its next move possibly be but an ambush? I put into practice the effective counter to homing attacks passed down among gamers since ancient times—"move so you don't get hit"—while gauging the Great Red Devourer's homing capabilities.

Sunraku: "There we go. There's prey right here, strolling along, conserving stamina. If you're gonna strike, now's the time…"

Deep Throater: "What're you doing, Sunraku-kuuun! C'mon, don't dawdle, let's run, dawdle dawdle! Short for 'dawdle-dawdle'… dick-dick—"

Sunraku: "Can we please install some kind of decency mod?!"

…! It shook. The ground swelled. Three steps back and I recalibrate my position. Whoa, whoa, what the hell is this bullshit homing…!

Sunraku: "Kh… retreat—whoa!?"

Just as a hypothetical. Imagine a handkerchief spread on the ground, with a little glass bead placed on top of it. Now imagine grabbing one spot on that handkerchief and yanking it upward as hard as you can.

Here's the question: According to the laws of physics, what happens to the bead sitting on the handkerchief?

Great Red Devourer: "Zyrurururururrrraaaaaaaaaa!!!!"

Sunraku: "Don't… underestimate me!!"

I've fought on top of trains, on top of airplanes! Hell, I've fought right on the boosters of a goddamn space battleship! Compared to a plain where bugged-out bottomless-pit textures just open up out of nowhere… you think something as basic as a tablecloth trick is gonna make me buckle?!

Sunraku: "Thanks for the inertia!"

The spot where I'd been standing one second ago swelled up violently, and as if in response, the red pool converged on a single point. My body went into a pseudo-leg-sweep state—world flipping upside down, about to crash headfirst into the ground—but I slammed my left hand against the earth to hold myself up. What about my right hand? Simple. With that precious right hand, I smacked my chest.

Sunraku: "Witness it! Four days of training! Total death count of forty-three and one near-death half-kill experience…!!"

Certain kill…!

Sunraku: "Overflow Continuous Back Handspring!!"

For the record, those four days are how long it took me to learn it without skill assist. With skill assist, I got it down in about three tries.

Moment Sight, activate. In the world of slow motion, I witnessed the dragon corpse's chest split wide open, its gaping maw poised to devour me—all within a frozen instant. And then, in the next moment—visible clearly because of the slow motion, but in reality something Emul once dismissed with "Gyaaaah, it's so gross, waaaah!!"—I launched into a human-sized rapid spin and escaped the death zone.

Come on, it's basically just a gymnast's continuous back handspring at double speed. The rest of the world is moving at normal speed, so from the outside it just looks like a half-naked guy spinning backward at high speed, all gyorun-gyorun.

Sunraku: "Aaand, finish!!"

I righted myself with a double-speed backflip, painstakingly tracing a gymnast's movements, and glared at the Great Red Devourer as it locked its form in place again. Immediately deactivated Levin Trigger: Hazard… tch, had ten seconds already passed? Even if I wanted to recover the lost HP, Arcanum: The Fool forces me into a coin toss. My weakness as Sunraku is really showing here… yeah, I'm bad when forced onto the back foot for extended periods. Also, one-handed sword skills!!

Even without Overflow, with the skills I've trained and honed, closing the distance at speed is no issue. Using midair mobility combined with Flit Float, I slammed Areadbhair Rebuild into the neck of the Great Red Devourer, where cracked bone (red) was visible.

Sunraku: "…Oh?"

The dragon-corpse neck came off way too easily—I was shocked for a second—but then I watched the severed neck hit the ground at the thing's feet with a splat and dissolve into the red pool, and it clicked.

Sunraku: "Isn't this literally impossible?"

Part destruction is meaningless. If cutting off a head just turns it into more of that red pool—meaning once it pools up again, it fully regenerates—then…

Sunraku: "Kh…"

I need to consult with the rear guard. We've got no choice but to call a timeout…

Activated the Lethal Secret Art: [Mirror of Fading], shed all the aggro I'd built up so far, and put some distance between us. I called Deep Throater over with a hand signal, and we dove into one of the abandoned houses where the elves must’ve once lived, opening a strategy meeting.

Deep Throater: "Hey, hey… a man and a woman, alone, locked room, suspension bridge effect… there's no way nothing happens—!!"

Sunraku: "Odds are, the only flags getting raised here are R18 on the gore end."

Shark movies, zombie flicks, that kind of thing. The monster smashes through the wall and attacks.

Sunraku: "So… honestly, what's your read?"

Deep Throater: "Brute-forcing it is impossible. I mean, it flinches, sure, but I can't even tell if we're dealing real damage… Tuna?"

Sunraku: "It's red meat all over… doesn't look like there's much fat, though."

So it's a gimmick fight? No, that's probably unlikely. I can't see this game going with some forty-five-man jump-rope routine. It's a raid boss—which means, unlike Wethermon, a rematch is guaranteed. So there's definitely some kind of "strategy" to it, but…

Sunraku: "Hey, you attacked that liquefied Devourer, right?"

Deep Throater: "Hmm… I hit it with a decent amount of firepower, but… it didn't really feel like I made it come—I mean, finished it off…"

Okay, flat my heart. Just accept that's a local dialect, my heart. A spirit of tolerance is important. Without it, you can't even play an online game.

Sunraku: "…Are we checkmated?"

Deep Throater: "Hey, hey, pulling out mid-stroke is basically blue-balling me, y'know…? But still, if that's our conclusion, then even upping our numbers and gangbanging it means we still can't win…"

So there is a strategy, after all. She talks like an utter moron, but it seems her brain still works fine. Even if her output is all from a pink piece-of-shit printer.

Deep Throater: "Hmmmm… hey, hey, Sunraku-kuuun. Any chance you'd be willing to entrust your body to these master fingers of mine…?"

Sunraku: "Hah?"

Deep Throater: "Whoa, whoa, don't give me that look. You'll get me all teary-eyed and wet."

You mean your cheeks, right?

Sunraku: "God… damn it. Even if this is 'same boat, common enemy,' I feel like I'm riding shotgun with the devil… but fine! Let's do this!!"

Savoring the world-building is a gamer's glory. And at the same time, exposing all the enemy's mechanics via the system—that's a gamer's glory too. A hundred flowers blooming. This is why I can't quit games, dammit!!

Sunraku: "IT'S TESTING TIME!!"

Unique Monsters: Stats and strategies change based on the number of challenging players and NPCs. Raid Monsters: Stats are fixed, but in theory, possess a strategy allowing even a single player to win. Title Monsters: Simply have buffed specs. If you can't beat 'em on skill alone, it doesn't matter if it's one player or a hundred—they'll crush you.