Chapter 314: Megaton Bracelet and the Lewd Radish
[By the way, there’s apparently an old tale where they call it a “crotch radish” and offer it to Daikoku-sama.]
[People in the old days thought of the same things, huh. Viva Cool Japan.]
Sunraku: "Active Thrown-Out Back!!"
The Iron Ruin of the Divinity area boss—a Ruin Keeper, its frame weathered and aged by time. Despite the level gap, its role and nature denied it the option of retreat. This mechanical doll from the far-off Divine Era goes snap as its lower back cleanly breaks, and the Daruma Golem—every last joint in its body shattered one by one in the lead-up—finally crumbled into pieces.
A "Moss-Grown Armor Plate" dropped as loot, but, I mean, Crystal gear's probably got higher durability, so what would I even use this for…? Well, I guess that's just how revisiting stuff at a high level goes. Still gonna pick it up, though. No inventory limit, so of course I'm grabbing it.
Sunraku: "Alrighty… time to move on."
In the end, this is nothing more than a waypoint toward my real objective. Destination: the Cloud Sea of the Flowing Cloud Region!
…Actually, before that, there's something bugging me, so let's head back real quick.
After locking in the location of Sixburg—the town bearing the sixth name, situated beyond the Iron Ruin of the Divinity—I used a Magic Scroll to transfer to Rabituza. I set Emul, who'd been munching away on a carrot pie rather than an apple one, atop my head, then transferred onto a New Land Research Vessel currently at sea. This physics-law-ignoring fast travel is a treat you only get in a game…
Emul: "You're still in Sunrako-san mode today, wa?"
Sunraku: "Well, I went straight from that little detour back into grinding the Iron Ruin of the Divinity, so…"
I could just casually chuck myself off the ship, but since there are other players on board, sticking with this form might actually be better for walking around inside. The New Land Research Vessels run on magic or some such power source—they're fantasy luxury liners created by mixing medieval technology with a dash of ancient science.
Given their purpose, they're equipped with a certain amount of armaments, but apparently, packing huge numbers of players into them like sardines for days on end means there's even a modest little shop inside. And since I took on Saint-chan's request and got backing from the Three Gods Faith, my cabin is one rank below a suite. Looking down on all the common rabble while sipping fine wine is the best—though, honestly, it just tastes like slightly bitter grape juice and doesn't even get you buzzed.
Sunraku: "Map, map… Hmm…"
Shipboard café "Sea Snake and the Apple"… It's here. See, I fucking knew it! So much for that being a bluff!
Sunraku: "Raiding the place can wait. First, to the deck."
A multi-day sea voyage is basically like being canned food, and for various reasons, players who are close sometimes get assigned to different ships. It's not like being in the same clan means you're automatically placed on the same boat—rather, how you got aboard is what matters. That's why me, Akitsu Akane, Rust and Mold, and Rei-shi can all end up on completely separate ships.
So, does that mean zero communication during the voyage while logged in? The answer is no. While adjusting my timer with cheap gear—gotta make sure I don't end up with a clothing explosion on a crowded deck, that'd be a disaster—I asked an NPC crew member to lend me two seagulls… or at least, birds that are supposed to be seagulls.
Emul: "Nbyah!? Stop pecking me, wa…! Ow, no no no!?"
Sunraku: "Cut it out, cut it out. I'll give you some fish from Ruluiath later, so just hold still."
Birds: "Pweh pweh!"
Seagulls…? Just like those falcons with chick-like cries, did the people who made this game just figure, "Ah, just give 'em a sound that's different from real life, good enough"? Eh, whatever. Recipients: Rei-shi and Akitsu Akane… and… yeah, I get the feeling Rust and Mold are just gonna be grinding NephHolo the entire voyage, so I'll leave them out.
Sunraku: "Is there a café called 'Sea Snake’s Apple' on your ship's map? …And, done. Alright, off you go! When you get back safe, I'll give you a deep-sea sea bream MP recovery item!"
Birds: "Pweh!"
Man, that sea bream was a real pain to eat… the width on that thing, you pretty much have to chow down on it like a kappa or a fish-man. Slim fish, on the other hand, you just go gulp… Ah, the nostalgic art of deserted-island dining. Forgetting to take care of yourself and ending up with food poisoning is all part of the package deal. Pigs and owls and whatnot can gobble up a castaway wriggling and screaming without so much as a stomachache, but a human player gets sent to death's door by a single mushroom. That game really forces you to realize just how much of your wild nature evolution has thrown away… Uwah. There's a giant octopus on the deck.
Player: "Uwaaaaaah!!"
Player: "O-Our leader got eaten by an octopus!?"
Player: "It's tentacle play but not the slightest bit sexy!"
Player: "F-For now, get the tank to the front!!"
Maybe it's a game-design consideration or some kind of item at work—one player who'd been dangling a fishing line from the deck got dragged into the sea, and in their place, an enormous octopus burst onto the deck, throwing the area into chaos. Amidst all that, I was just killing time by striking a pose: a somewhat noble woman, gazing at the horizon with a touch of melancholy.
After all, that octopus is blatantly reacting to me—or rather, to Lycagon’s Contusion on me—and adjusting its position. Learn from Ctarnidd, damn it. Take notes.
Sunraku: "Oh, you're back… Let's see, you with the slightly mean look—you're the one I sent to Rei-shi, right?"
Bird: "Pweh."
Good, good. For you, here's that sea bream whose eyeballs are all messed up thanks to water pressure and whatever. Now, let's see the reply… Hmm, I see. Oh, the one I sent to Akitsu Akane is back too.
Those two can use fast travel just like me, so I'd factored in the possibility that a reply might not come right away. But, well, normally, heading straight back to the old continent is the weirder move.
Sunraku: "Heheh… you adorable little bastards."
Birds: "Pweh, pweh!"
Emul: "Mmmm mm mm…!"
The two seagulls(?) perched on my outstretched arm are going pweh-pweh, and the rabbit—who at some point migrated onto my head—is going puu-puu… Should I make some kind of sound too?
Sunraku: "Tekestekestekestekestekestekes…"
Emul: "Wh-What is that indescribable noise, wa…"
Sunraku: "The warning call of a mysterious life-form that can only be described as a humanoid slime with a mass of tentacles growing from its face."
It's one of Rakuro Hizutome's proud party tricks. The downside is that almost nobody gets the reference. Also, the original loli-voiced space monster wiggles its facial tentacles like crazy while making this warning call.
Testimony from Rei-shi, aboard the BELHEMOLTH, and Akitsu Akane, aboard the LEVHAIOSN, suggests that the café in question exists only on the ZEEZEE. Furthermore, from what I subtly managed to get out of Saint-chan, it seems the high-status NPCs are arranged to board the ZEEZEE. And if I factor in the existence of the Chief, who is clearly someone with considerable social standing, I can kind of guess why “Sea Snake’s Apple” would be found only on the ZEEZEE.
Sunraku: "Alrighty then… time to go give my esteemed recommender a little greeting."
What exactly is a bounty hunter doing vacationing aboard a ship bound for the New Land? She doesn’t look particularly inclined to tell me, but I’ll uncover it myself…!
???: "…………"
(Her upper body is jammed into the entrance of an underfloor storage compartment, and only her lower half—wearing distinctly familiar leg equipment—is sprouting from the floor.)
Sunraku: "…………"
With a gaze that held a faint sliver of hope, I silently directed my question at the master of the café "Sea Snake’s Apple"—a man who looked like a younger version of the master of "The Serpent’s Apple," the clone theory now stronger than ever. He just smiled wryly and shook his head.
Sunraku: "…………"
Smack!
???: "!?!!?!"
(Startled by the sudden attack, she tried to retaliate by moving her legs, lost her balance, and flailed around violently while remaining upside-down.)
Sunraku: "…………"
For some reason, I felt an overwhelming wave of sadness. So, I slapped the tentative Lutia's ass, took a screenshot, and promptly left the scene. What I want is to talk to a bounty hunter. I have zero business with a lewd radish of a lower body sprouting from the floor.
Sunraku: "How in the hell do you even end up like that…"
I feel like Don Quixote, realizing the thing he'd been certain was an enemy was just a windmill. It was all so depressing that I sent the screenshot of lewd-radish Lutia over to Survival.
Sunraku: "I am now shrouded in deep sorrow, Rocinante…"
Emul: "Who's that, wa?"
Sunraku: "A donkey."
Emul: "I'm a Vorpal Bunny, wa—!!"
Hai na hai na, wa wa. Be that as it may, let's push past the sorrow and get back to the main issue. If I put things off at times like this, I'll end up dragging my feet all the way to the finish line. Grinding until I hit the cap before doing the work is efficient, sure, but it also just cranks up the operational suffering… Planned enhancement is a must for any completionist run!
So, let us now set forth—to the Cloud Sea of the Flowing Cloud Region!
[Lutia: "The underfloor storage ahead… if you’re wearing training accessories, you’ll fall right into it."]
[Lutia: "That’s why I needed to remove them from my equipment slots. (Removes accessories.)"]
[Because she had two equipped, she lost her balance and fell headfirst into the underfloor storage with a crash.]
[Who the hell turned the mysterious female bounty hunter into a klutzy lewd radish? (Looks away.)]
[Bounty Hunter Lutia]
[A veteran female bounty hunter, both in implementation order and in the setting. She is tuned to the absolute limit of what a human can reproduce, adjusted to that infuriating sweet spot of “it feels like you could almost win, but you can’t.”]
[In reality, the combination of “Superspeed” and “Sangeki Muzan” is absurdly powerful, so winning through player skill is nearly impossible. Even if you entered the same world of “Superspeed,” the control difficulty would be even higher than during an Overflow State. Huh? What if you use both at once? I’d guess you become a stain on the wall.]
[Rumor has it that in her private life, she sometimes makes unbelievably klutzy mistakes.]