Chapter 284: The Lewd Woman Faces the Holy Maiden

[[Bad News] The complete theory of Inventoria's hole-riddled magic-power application—the data's gone [I don't remember what I wrote]]

[The cursor position bugged out and I deleted the wrong thing—are you kidding me...? I remember the content itself, but the wording... sorry... I'm so sorry...]

Rattle and shake, the carriage sways. I feel like a prisoner being transported. Even a dead salmon's eyes would be leaking tears right now.

Sunraku: "...Hey. Isn't it kind of messed up to literally restrain and escort someone just because you 'got carried away'?"

Josette: "Ahaha, don't worry. I'm not going to drag you out in front of Saint-chan or anything."

I'm not talking about what comes after — I'm complaining about right now.

After getting fished up and secured at the arena, I had every last bit of information squeezed out of me, and now I'm being carted off in a carriage arranged by the Shining Knights of the Holy Shield (Saint’s Divine Guard). That said, I didn't say anything about the “Vorpal Epic”... meaning the final Unique Monster, Vysache the Immortal. And the existence of the "Divine Craftsman" job, which surpasses Ancient Craftsman, is still a card I'm holding close. Heh heh heh, keep dancing in the palm of my hand... though it's probably going to get found out sooner or later.

Sunraku: "Putting that aside, I really want to sleep..."

Josette: "I mean, I'm not free enough in real life to hang around here forever. Like getting a shot—let's just get it over with quickly, yeah?"

Sunraku: "Mmm..."

Saint Eristella of Compassion. There was a time when meeting her was my goal, but ever since Lycagon’s Contusion got upgraded with the "curse," that necessity vanished. In other words, with no reason to meet the rumored Saint-chan, I'd like nothing more than to bail immediately. But thanks to some insane chain of events, apparently she's specifically asked for me by name.

Sunraku: "Anyway, I play like a total recluse, so why do NPCs know who I am...?"

Josette: "Huh, you didn't know? You've actually gotten pretty famous through word of mouth from players, you know that?"

Sunraku: "...What?"

The NPCs of SLF—I won't say they're alive, but they have AI capable of holding conversations with us. If players start spreading rumors about "Sunraku," naturally the NPCs end up hearing them too.

Josette: "The wandering warrior of strange appearance with a Vorpal Bunny in tow... I've even heard something about the God of Fate this-or-that... and, well, that reached Saint-chan too."

I silently resolve to pinch Emul's cheeks later. I will carry this out. ...Though I have to admit, it does sound kind of cool.

Sunraku: "Still, a weapon from the Divine Era, huh... Hey, what's the material on that shield? Absorbing magic to buff yourself? As a tank, I really can't just ignore that..."

Josette: "You'd have to dive to the bottom of the ocean to get it, so I think that's out. Plus, that absorption-to-buff flow—Conversion—isn't a skill unique to Dis Pater, Nether King’s Mirror Shield. It's a function shared across that whole line."

For some reason, Josette — the leader of the Shining Knights of the Holy Shield — is staring at me with wide, surprised eyes. Did I say something strange?

Josette: "Ahh... so being friendly gets you to spill info more than being businesslike, huh?"

Sunraku: "What's that supposed to mean?"

Josette: "Mm, nothing. Just thinking that the Library's business-first approach really backfired here."

With a "more importantly" brush-off that would make the Library's eyes pop out if they heard it, Josette gives my whole body a hard once-over.

Josette: "It's not about personal taste or anything, but Saint-chan is, you know, a sanctuary of purity and all. So letting a half-naked man meet her... it's kind of a problem, roleplay-wise and... various things."

Sunraku: "O-oh."

Josette: "So, if possible, could you... change your gender?"

Sunraku: "I mean, I can actually put on clothes, you know—"

Josette: "Yeah, no, that's not what I'm looking for."

What does she mean...? Still, I can't exactly dismiss the judgment that a half-naked guy would be worse. So I use the Holy Grail.

Sunraku: "...Phew. There, happy?"

Josette: "..."

Sunraku: "Um, hello?"

Josette is staring fixedly at my form... no, drinking it in with her eyes... so I cautiously try to get her attention.

Josette: "Not just a female avatar swap — you actually rebuilt the whole output as female... That's the reward from Ctarnidd, right? I wonder if I can't loop that one on repeat... Ah, yes! Fine, okay, okay, perfectly okay."

Sunraku: "...? Fine, if you say so... Ah, in that case, should I take off my headgear too? It might make me look less suspicious..."

Josette: "Ubyopo."

What the hell kind of sound is that? That's not a noise that should come out of a human throat.

Josette: "A wide-eyed, coquettish beauty who's petite, curvy, and a total lewd woman... Isn't that just unbeatable...? Huh? Pure eros? Gender-swap stuff isn't half bad either..."

She was mumbling too fast and too quietly for me to catch most of it, but I can't shake the growing suspicion that this person definitely falls into the "not right in the head" category.

Josette: "Any chance you'd consider just staying in that form forever?"

Sunraku: "Uh, no. It wears off if I die..."

Josette: "Leave it to me. I'll protect you from everything in this world."

You're saying that to the wrong person, aren't you...?

Apparently, Saint-chan is here in Fifticia. When I asked why the hell we had to ride a carriage, the answer was basically, "Even a knightly order has its image — we can't just walk." Well, if they're serious about roleplay, I can respect them not cutting corners here.

Josette: "When we get off the carriage, we're going into roleplay... so play along, okay?"

She grins a little mischievously as she tells me. The moment Josette steps out of the carriage, I feel an illusion as if the very air itself has frozen.

Josette: "Hahh... Well then, come with me, Sunraku-dono. Saint-sama awaits you up ahead."

Gone is the casual, friendly air from moments before. Standing there is a female knight, dignified and imposing, as if to declare, "I am the foremost shield who protects the Saint." Looking around, I see the other players too, lined up in perfect formation, their knight roleplay so convincing you'd believe they were NPCs.

Sunraku: "...Right. Pardon the intrusion, then."

The mansion I'm led into, nestled in Fifticia's light side, is incomparable to Deadbeat Alley — looking like the most expensive building around. Josette and the Shining Knights guide me deeper inside, right to the rearmost room, the kind of place that can only belong to either a boss or someone of great importance.

Josette: "Eristella-sama. I have brought the pioneer in question."

Eristella: "—Please, come in."

A voice like the tinkling of a bell invites us inside. For just an instant, Josette lets her "player" face show and whispers to me.

Josette: "Make absolutely sure you show no disrespect."

Then she slips back into her role as Commander Josette and opens the door.

Eristella: "So you are Sunraku... From the tales I'd heard, I was told you were a man...?"

The person was there, in what must have been a chamber meant for nobles. Her translucent silver hair is tied back, and she wears a cleric-style outfit that somehow serves to further elevate her presence. But most of all, it's her mesmerizing eyes. Like the boundary between the night sky and the blue sky, right before dawn, right before the sun rises — just looking into them feels like your soul might be sucked in.

I see. This is no ordinary modeling. Putting it badly, there aren't many real-world people who could compete with this. No wonder an NPC like her has a whole bodyguard order devoted to her. I glance at Josette, still deep in her roleplay, but given that any improper move could get me PK'd, I adjust my Vash-facing noble-style roleplay accordingly.

Sunraku: "I am honored to meet you for the first time, Saint Eristella. My name is Sunraku… a mere speck of a pione—"

The very next moment — precisely three minutes after we'd left the carriage — my clothes spontaneously burst apart.

???: "..."

???: "..."

Sunraku: "...Please, pay it no mind. It's... a chronic condition."

I mean, I'd planned to change into different equipment before going in, but I completely forgot... Or rather, Josette's stare was scary enough that I did put clothes on before we entered—and they still burst. Lycagon, I swear I'll never forgive you.

Eristella: "It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Eristella... one who, to my great honor, is called 'Saint' and relied upon by all."

Amazing. Saint-chan is amazing. Looking straight at a scene that even Josette is struggling not to laugh at, she hasn't broken her saintly demeanor in the slightest. Having been shown her strength through this preemptive strike, I am now absolutely certain that this encounter is on par with an audience before Vysache. This is definitely... what people call a "main character," isn't it?

Eristella: "One who has triumphed over members of the Seven Colossi... Thank you for indulging my selfish wish to meet you, Josette."

Josette: "...If that is your desire, then all of us shall see it fulfilled without fail."

Now, if that were all, I could just make some small talk and be done with it, but...

Eristella: "I called you here today partly out of my own selfishness... but I also have one request to make. A request of you — you, who are famed for your undeniable strength."

[Accept Quest “The Saint’s Bladesword: Sword of Saint”? Yes / No]

Huh. Could this be... my very first quest in SLF?

[Quest “The Saint’s Sword”] [It is not a Unique Scenario but a quest with a special format: the quest's contents change each time. What remains consistent is that "a martial solution is the clear condition," and under normal circumstances the Shining Knights of the Holy Shield have effectively monopolized clearing it.] [The reward is no different from an ordinary quest, but success or failure changes Saint-chan's affinity, so for certain players it can be considered a quest as important as a Unique Scenario.] [Incidentally, first place in affinity is Josette. She soloed a rare enemy and got head-pats for it. Apparently she had quite a struggle suppressing her inner beast. Or maybe not.]